Young Men’s Leadership Academy
“The youth is the hope of our future.”
“Would you mind speaking to a class of high school senior boys sometime soon?” A good friend of mine, Jocelyn, a teacher asked me a few months back. I jumped at the idea and agreed, not knowing exactly when soon meant but I was up for the challenge, nonetheless. After realizing I had just agreed to potentially be a target for a bunch of testosterone driven, emotionally angst high school boys, I thought to ask
“What is it you’d like for them to get out of my talk?”
I was to discuss the importance of goal setting, overcoming fears and finding your path despite obstacles which may hinder you. This was the perfect topic, I thought. One of the most important things I realized in my preparation for this speech was that, the work performed on yourself is never really done. For example, after agreeing to the speaking engagement, I immediately created fear in my own mind about what might happen if these young men see me and smell blood.
My fear was this lady’s reality
I say the work is never actually done because I very well aware of the fear I had created in my own mind, I still had to overcome it. Over time, it becomes easier to train yourself, however, our minds are designed to adequately represent fear for our protection. The trick, I’ve come to realize, is to own the fear. I’ll explain in a few steps:
Realize what it is you’re afraid of
Realize why you’re actually afraid of it
Realize how things would play out if that fear came true
Rationalize what you stand to gain or lose from your decision and make it without looking back
Following the steps I’ve detailed above will work for just about any situation whether it be confronting someone with a problem or speaking to a group of high schoolers at the very end of the school day.
At the basis of every fear is a misunderstanding, something that is unknown to you, this usually takes form by not knowing exactly what the outcome will be. What I’ve come to realize is that for majority of decisions we make, the outcome doesn’t really matter as much to us as our fear that we are unsure of what the outcome actually is. While you may know someone who you feel is blissfully unaware, science has confirmed that humans have a biological need to understand, this is part of our subconscious ego.
No help sign needed ✊🏾
I quickly got over my ego and fear of what might happen and shifted my focused onto the students and how I can best inspire them and have fun while doing it. It turned out to be a success according to the teachers in attendance and there was A LOT of student engagement. The young men asked excellent questions and we even played a few games to break the ice a bit, which eased any tension felt on either side.
Overall this was a humbling experience in that I had to check my own fears at the door and leave my ego behind for a greater mission. I realized my fear was what if I, someone who speaks to executives, entrepreneurs and influential people on a regular basis, gets eaten alive by a group of high school kids? The answer I realized was “none of this is actually about you, it’s for the students, you are only a vessel, do that and do it well”.
Interestingly enough, one of the topics I decided to cover was that of living within your comfort zone. This can be a crippling experience and disable you from truly growing as a person.
Neglect your comfort zone
- We never truly stop learning
I learned something about myself and was reminded and humbled by the experience of speaking the the kids. We accumulate different tools and methods to handle situations but can only truly do so through experience. That experience is nonexistent if we don’t dare to leave our comfort zones. The students learned that while the path to what they consider success, isn’t always paved in their favor, it is up to them to decide and lay their foundational concrete for is to become their own paths, regardless of the terrain.
